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Since childhood, women are often taught by their family or the environment to always be kind, sweet, or gentle. This is not wrong. However, if things start to feel like a burden, this may be a sign that you have good girl syndrome.
Good girl syndrome is an attitude when a woman forces herself to always be kind and pleasing to others, without thinking about her feelings or even her own rights. This attitude makes him less likely to avoid criticism, conflict, rejection, and mistakes.
Being a kind woman is certainly a laudable attitude. However, if it is done by force at the expense of one's feelings and self-harm, this attitude is not worth maintaining.
Characteristics of Good Girl Syndrome
Broadly speaking, good girl syndrome attitude is the same as a people pleaser. The two of them both tried to do whatever it took so as not to disappoint the other person. They also tend to obey and are more silent because they are worried that their words will hurt others.
Here are the characteristics of good girl syndrome that you need to recognize:
- It's hard to say "no" and express what you want
- Fear of upsetting or upsetting others
- Perfectionist
- Feeling that you are required to excel
- Forced to do nice things to please others and pretend to be happy
- Very obedient to the rules, even if they are small, insignificant rules
How to Get Away from Good Girl Syndrome
It is called good girl syndrome because this attitude is commonly experienced by women. Girls tend to mature emotionally faster so they are more serious about instilling parental advice to be good children. The likelihood of this happening will be even greater if the parenting style is authoritarian.
This planting of values that has started since childhood sometimes makes some women feel they have to be perfect and as much as possible do not get negative responses from others. In fact, whatever you do must be based on your decision and for your good, not others.
Good girl syndrome is a condition that usually takes root. However, it is never too late to break free from this attitude. Here are ways you can do to be free from good girl syndrome :
1. Be assertive
Cultivate assertiveness in yourself. This attitude is the ability to communicate in a way that is firm and honest, while still maintaining the feelings of others. With this attitude, you will be more valued and less used by others.
Try to be brave enough to share your opinion. Say "no" if you are asked to do something that could harm you. Also give good reasons why you don't want to do it.
2. Avoid feeling guilty
Don't feel guilty when you have to turn down requests from others. Your life is not just for pleasing other people. So, while you have reasons that are honest and reasonable, you don't need to feel guilty, let alone blame yourself, huh.
3. Build confidence
Instead of doing everything to make others happy, you better hone your skills to be more confident. Learn a new skill or get into a new hobby that you've been trying to do, for example knitting, hiking, or solo traveling.
That way, you will focus more on your strengths than your weaknesses. You will also feel more confident, especially when other people see you have the courage to decide to do what you love and work on it.
4. Love yourself
When you succeed in loving yourself, you will feel happier and enjoy more of every life process you live in. Don't forget to always be grateful for everything you have, OK.
If you think you have good girl syndrome, use the methods above to stop this attitude. It is a good thing to help others, but remember that you live not to meet other people's expectations, but to fulfill your own dreams and feel happy.
Try to find your own happiness and desires. If you find it difficult to do so, you can consult a psychologist for advice and guidance to stop being a people pleaser and learn to love yourself.
Label : Family
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