What is Arsetive Attitude Meaning and 5 Ways to Learn It
It is important that you know the characteristics of manipulation and how to deal with it. Manipulation is a problem that can arise in all types of relationships, both personal and professional.
Manipulation is a way that a person (manipulator) uses to attack or influence the emotions and mentality of others, so that he can control others and get what he wants.
It can be a variety of things a manipulator seeks to gain, such as the power, control, benefits, or privileges that the victim has.
Manipulation Features You Should Know
A manipulator usually uses tricks to make his victim more likely to give in to his wants and demands. Therefore, be aware of some of the following characteristics of manipulation that is commonly performed by a manipulator:
1. Interact in your comfort zone
A manipulator usually insists on meeting or interacting with you in their comfort zone, such as their home, office or favorite restaurant. This he did in order to control the situation, so that he could get what he wanted more easily.
2. Manipulate facts
A manipulator is also generally very often manipulating or distorting facts.
He is usually very good at lying, making excuses, withholding important information, or often blaming the victim if something happens ( victim blaming ). That way, you will feel cornered and he can be more powerful than you.
3. Easily close with other people
Manipulative people are more likely to share their secrets and fears to make you feel special, so you will reveal your secrets to them too. This secret can then be used as a weapon to fight or take advantage of you someday.
4. Asking inducement questions
This is a common trait of manipulation in professional relationships, but it can also occur in personal relationships.
To manipulate, a manipulator often asks questions to get you to share your thoughts or concerns first. After that, he will respond in a bad way and provoke a dispute.
This strategy allows the manipulator to control and influence your decisions, because you feel guilty about expressing the thoughts that caused the dispute.
5. Engaging in intellectual bullying
Intellectual bullying is also a feature of manipulation. Intellectual bullying is usually done by overexposing data or facts that you are not familiar with. This in turn can make you feel inadequate and helpless in making a decision.
6. Making offensive jokes
A manipulative person also often makes jokes that are meant to expose your weaknesses, thus making you feel uncomfortable or insecure in front of others. That way, he will feel more powerful and more powerful than you.
7. Makes you feel guilty
This is also a feature of manipulation. When you are happy about an accomplishment, a manipulator will try to downplay your accomplishments and compare them to the greater happiness of others. This will make you feel unworthy of your accomplishments.
On the other hand, when you experience something bad, the manipulator will try to make the problem he is experiencing appear worse or more urgent than yours. This can make you feel guilty about the sadness you are feeling.
How to deal with manipulative personalities
Manipulation that exists in a relationship must stop immediately. If not, this could risk disrupting your mental health. Therefore, you must be careful in identifying and identifying the characteristics of manipulation as above.
Once you are able to recognize and identify the characteristics of manipulation, there are several ways you can reduce the emotional impact of the manipulation.
Here are some ways to deal with manipulative people:
- Make your opinion clear, firm, direct and specific. Apologize if you are guilty, but don't overdo it.
- Don't think too deeply about what the manipulator is saying.
- Avoid hasty decisions.
- There is no need to try to beat the manipulator. Instead, find a way to subtly let him know that you understand he is manipulating you.
- Avoid interacting too much with the manipulator, especially if your relationship is not a personal one.
- Find someone you can trust, who is not under the influence of the manipulator, to tell stories or ask for advice about your current situation.
Constantly interacting with a manipulator can make you feel bad, stupid, and low. Even if the reality is not so, you can be sure it was due to the manipulation. It is not impossible if you gradually fall into depression.
So if you have problems with manipulative people or start to get annoyed by their manipulative actions, try to keep your distance. If it is impossible to keep your distance or have started to feel pressured by their actions, it never hurts to consult a psychologist.
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