Causes of the Lump on the Back of the Head and When to Be Alert

Assertiveness is one skill in communicating. Assertiveness is characterized by one's ability to communicate honestly, assertively, and straightforwardly, but still able to respect the feelings of others.

It is important to learn and practice one's ability to be assertive. The reason is, assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively, maintain a point of view, avoid conflict, increase self-confidence, as well as respect the rights and beliefs of others.

Causes of the Lump on the Back of the Head and When to Be Alert

Characteristics of an Assertive Person

Below are some characteristics of someone who is able to be assertive:

  • Able to give assertive opinion
  • Being able to honestly say what you feel
  • Be able to clearly ask for what is needed or wanted
  • Able to give ideas and suggestions to others
  • Being able to say 'no' without feeling guilty
  • Able to represent other people to speak
  • Able to express disagreements in a good manner

How to Learn Assertiveness

Some people are naturally assertive. However, assertiveness can also be learned and trained independently.

However, before learning assertiveness, try to pay attention to the style and the way you communicate so far. Are you communicating in a passive or aggressive style?

A passive communication style is characterized by a lack of confidence when expressing opinions, always feeling bad about saying 'no', and difficulty expressing feelings honestly.

Meanwhile, aggressive communication styles are usually characterized by overly high levels of self-confidence and tend to not empathize with the views and needs of others.

By paying attention to and understanding the way you have communicated over the years, it will be easier for you to learn ways to be assertive. Here are a variety of ways you can train yourself to be assertive:

1. Respect yourself

To be assertive, you need to understand and respect yourself first. This will help you to recognize that you deserve to be done with respect and dignity. It can also increase your confidence to stand up for your rights and protect your boundaries.

2. Practice saying 'no'

Saying 'no' can be hard to do sometimes, especially if you're not used to it. However, if you want to be assertive, then you have to practice saying 'no' to things that you really don't like or that might weigh you down.

Learn to be honest with the other person about your boundaries, needs, and responsibilities, so that they can understand the reasons behind your refusal to ask and you won't feel guilty afterward.

3. Use the word 'I' when speaking

You can also use this method to train yourself to be assertive. Using the word 'I' at the beginning of a sentence can help others understand what you are thinking and feeling without sounding accusatory.

For example, if you disagree on something, try starting the phrase with 'I don't think this is correct, because ...', rather than 'you are wrong'. Also, if you have a request, it is better to say 'I would be very happy if you helped' rather than 'you should have helped me'.

4. Use good body language

Communication is not only verbal, but also nonverbal. Body language is a type of nonverbal communication. To achieve assertiveness, you can try to use good body language when communicating with other people.

For example, maintain an upright posture, make appropriate eye contact, maintain a positive facial expression, and avoid crossing your arms or legs when communicating. With good body language like the one above, you will be able to communicate more confidently, assertively and effectively.

5. Control emotions well

This is also important for you to practice so that you can be assertive. When you are in a poor communication situation, you may feel angry, frustrated, or even want to cry.

While normal, these emotions can get in the way of conflict resolution. So, when faced with a conflict, try to control your emotions by staying calm and keeping your voice intonated. If you feel too emotional, you can wait for the emotions to subside, before returning to the situation.

Keep in mind that being able to be assertive may take a long time. So, try to keep practicing patiently using the methods above. If you have difficulty communicating, it doesn't hurt to consult a psychologist.

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