Child Grooming, a Mode of Child Abuse that is Rarely Aware of

Child grooming is a technique of manipulating a child's mind for a specific purpose. The most frequent purpose of these techniques is for sexual exploitation and abuse. If left unchecked, child grooming can have an impact on the physical and mental health of children.

Child grooming occurs when adults make certain efforts to build trust and bond emotionally with children or adolescents with the aim of manipulating, harassing, and exploiting them. Children or adolescents can experience this act of harassment directly or through social media.

More about Child Grooming

A person is said to have experienced child grooming if the perpetrator has a special purpose to manipulate the child's mind since childhood. For example, the perpetrators we call "predators" will target children to adjust their way of thinking so that they are obedient and more "obedient" to their directions and orders.

This process is usually not short and most of the victims chosen are children or adolescents who have low self-esteem or are in dispute with their families.

After finding the child who will be the victim, the perpetrator will position himself as the person who best understands the child's feelings, until finally empathy and closeness emerge. Furthermore, the perpetrator gives a lot of attention, so that the child feels special and slowly begins to trust him.

If you have this, it is easy for the perpetrator to commit sexual harassment or exploitation. Moreover, the victim does not have the strength to fight adults. child grooming perpetrators will easily control the victim, including frightening or intimidating if the victim spreads his actions.

Apart from scaring and intimidating, perpetrators can also separate children from their families. This is usually done by instilling the belief that the perpetrator is the person who knows the child best than his parents.

That's why, parents need to have strong intuition towards suspicious people around their children. Moreover, the perpetrators of child grooming do not recognize background and gender. The perpetrators could be teachers, officials, or religious leaders who have charisma and are liked by many people.

So that parents can be more observant, here are some signs your child may be experiencing child grooming:

• Children form relationships with adults who are much older
• Always talking about the adult figure
• Children spend a lot of time with these adults, so they neglect their obligations, for example, children often skip classes
• No longer spending time with his friends
• Often receives many gifts from adults who are close to him
• No longer sharing stories about his daily activities with you

Child grooming can last months to years. In fact, some perpetrators of child grooming can also approach the family so that their actions do not raise suspicion.

The Impact of Child Grooming on Children

Children who experience child grooming will generally be willing to do anything to please the offender. If it comes to this, the following negative impacts will appear, both physically and mentally for the child who is the victim:

• Difficulty sleeping (insomnia)
• Difficulty concentrating at school
• Anxiety disorders and depression
• Eating disorders
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Sexually transmitted diseases

Apart from the above effects, there are also many victims of child grooming who experience changes in attitude, ranging from closing themselves off from their parents to becoming irritable and sensitive when the perpetrator is prevented from doing so.

Perpetrators of child grooming can also feed children with various negative things, such as alcoholic beverages or drugs. This can damage the child's future.

Beware of Child Grooming Actors in Children

Actually, it is not easy to recognize the perpetrators of child grooming. Moreover, the culprit could be someone very close to your family. However, you may be alert if an adult around your child exhibits the following behavior:

• Give gifts often to your children and family
• Demonstrating excessive interest in activities your child is engaged in
• Offering tutoring or parenting that seems "unnatural" to your child
• Going beyond social boundaries, for example always coming to the house or when there are family events when they are not invited
• Frequent physical touch, such as petting your child's head, holding, hugging, or lap

In order not to go too far, children must be taught about boundaries in socializing with other people. Tell him that no one else should touch his body and genitals. If he experiences unpleasant things from adults, such as hearing sexual jokes or being forced to watch pornography, encourage him to tell you about it.

Many children are not aware that they have become victims of child grooming. So, if he dares to tell what happened to him and it leads to child grooming, deal with it calmly and wisely.

Listen carefully to what your child has to say and let him know that he has done the right thing by telling you about it. Also convey that the incident was not his fault. Keep him calm and explain the steps you will take to take action against the perpetrator.

Keep in mind, keep embracing your child and never ever scold him. Because when you are angry, the child may be afraid to tell bad things that have happened to him, and end up trusting the perpetrator of child grooming again. Of course you don't want this to happen, do you?

Whether in person or through online, child grooming still creates trauma for children. That is why it is important to take your child, cousin or nephew to a psychologist or psychiatrist if you find out about the child grooming incident that happened to him.

Children need a safe space and someone they can trust to tell what happened to them. A psychologist or psychiatrist will help her get through this difficult time as well as deal with the effects of child grooming, such as anxiety disorders or depression.

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